OINO's Dear Baby Brother (Revised!)
by KHB123
Summary: Itachi struggles to raise Sasuke when a deadly disease takes over the shinobi world, infecting people and turning them into man-eating "outsiders." In a world full of the undead and ruthless people, life seems hopeless….until rumors spread that there may be a cure. Writes letters to Sasuke in journal.
1. Introduction

**Introduction**

Hi, everyone!

For those of you Naruto fans that have read Dear Baby Brother by **Obviously I'm Not Original** , they just recently offered the story up for adoption because they're unable to continue for probably personal reasons. So I volunteered for adoption, and **Obviously I'm Not Original** said yes and basically handed the story over to me to continue and finish. I even got permission to do whatever I want with it, but despite whatever changes I make, I'm going to stick to the basic original setting: a disease taking over the world and Itachi struggling to take care of Sasuke with his letters (or journal entry).

For those of you who were in the middle of reading the story, I can only say two things to you and please understand:

 **1)** If the story doesn't meet your expectations like its original author **O.I.N.O** would, or that my work on this is in any way disappointing, I'm sorry you feel that way, but I have the other outline from the author just in case.

 **2)** Despite the sudden changes, I hope that some of you will enjoy it anyway and would really appreciate some support from all you ItaSasu fans (non-yaoi, of course). Tame your flames, or move on!

Remember! This story was originally started by **Obviously I'm not Original** (you can find them in my Favorite Stories), so the first four chapters is going to basically remain the same ( **O.I.N.O.** 's words), but added with some of my own words and revised. The last thing I need is to be accused of plagiarism, so remember, to be absolutely clear, that the first four chapters is by both me, **KHB123** , and **Obviously I'm not Original**. I'll put my usually (*) for footnotes.

Alright, that's all for now! Wish me luck! Thank you **Obviously I'm not Original** for entrusting me with your story!


	2. Dear Sibling

**(*) Footnotes of O.I.N.O**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Dear sibling,

 ***** I don't really know your gender yet.* It was only this afternoon after coming home from the Academy that mother told me that she was pregnant. That I was going to have a new sibling. You.

I have to admit...I was so surprised that I wasn't sure how to react, but mother hugged me anyway and is now making a special dinner to celebrate. I'm still a little bit in shock, so I saw this journal on my shelf and decided to write to you.

*It's really nice to meet you. I'm Itachi.

Itachi Uchiha...and I'm your big brother.* Or will be.

I'm not really sure what to say. This is the very first time I'm writing in this journal Auntie and Uncle gave me a year ago, since my writing and spelling improved a lot. Most kids my age just start learning how to read before they write, but I've been learning since I was two (not to brag, but it's an Uchiha thing), so I'll try my best to be clear...This journal was really meant for me to write down my training skills in order to get better at them, but I don't need that anymore, so I decided to use this to write to you, my baby brother or sister.

It still feels strange just calling you that, but good. Just like it feels strangely good writing all my real thoughts down and talking to you like a normal person, even if you're not really there yet. I don't normally talk much, so...

*I'm an only child. I've always been. Well, until you came along. Mother seemed happy to have you floating around in her stomach.* The thought kind of scares me...it sounds to me like carrying two people at once, and I don't think I can do that. Is it comfortable in there?

I wonder what you are thinking about. *Do you even have thoughts? Mother says you're just a small pea right now, and that's so tiny that I don't think you even have a brain, but she says that when you grow up, you'll have dreams and that I have to be the best big brother in the world.*

I don't know. Nobody prepared me for something like this, or even planned it. I'm sure I can be...the best big brother in the world, I mean. I've never been one before.

I'm actually a little nervous to meet you. What if you don't like me?

I've actually sensed your chakra, but didn't really know it was you before mother told me. It was like a little warm flame, fluttering like a tiny heartbeat. Was it really a heartbeat? I can't remember what it was like being inside of mother's stomach, and I usually have a very good memory. I wonder if you will remember...maybe not. I think its something everyone grows out of and can't be helped.

*Speaking of growing, father is getting a promotion at his work. Do you know what that means? It means father will be home even later tonight.* He's a police officer-but now he's a _Chief_ police officer. He takes his job very seriously. So much that he even gets me outside every morning to train in combat and self-defense for as long as I can remember. He can be pushy, but I don't mind it. Shisui does it with me, so it's fun with him. I think he's a better teacher than father, and he's only three years older than me.

Like me, his family expects a lot of things from him. It can be hard. They call us a prodigy. It means we're supposed to be the best at everything, or that's what we hear. I don't feel like the best. I just know how to do a lot things and get it done, that's all.

You would like Shisui, and he'll definitely like you. He's my best friend and is like my big brother. He's also my cousin-our cousin. Maybe he can teach me how to be a big brother, when I tell him about you. He's one of the friendliest people ever and really knows how to fight. I want to be just like him, but its really hard to make other friends. I'm the youngest in class, and the smartest, so the other kids make fun of me or give mean looks, and Shisui says its because they're jealous.

When you're bigger, and you get bullied, don't worry-me and Shisui will kick their butt so that they will never hurt you.

*But I'm sure you don't need to worry about that yet, because I'll do all the worrying for you, but mother worries all the time. She tells me not to, but I do anyway. Don't tell her that, though.*

I wonder what you will look like. *People tell me all the time that I have mother's looks but father's personality.* I still don't know what they mean by that, but I'll let you know when I figure it out. I hope you don't have his personality. He can be a real mean, pain in the butt sometimes. If he heard me say that, I'm in big trouble.

I hope you look good. I mean, you probably don't even have a face yet. You're so tiny that you're probably smaller than my fingernail. *Not even my fingernail. Maybe my baby toe?* How can one breathe when being that tiny?

*What if you're a girl?*

*If you're a girl, then I hope you will be as beautiful as mother. Then again, father and I would have to scare off all your future admirers.* For some reason, I'm already getting mad right now just thinking about boys even looking at you if you're a girl. I never really talk to girls, but mother one time told me that when boys are mean to girls at my age, it can sometimes mean that they like the girl and try to get their attention. Wonder where she got that idea. I don't want other boys being mean to you, even if they do like you. I'll hurt them and scare them away if they do. I can be scary if I want to be.

Oh! I think I now know what they mean about me having father's personality.

*You would probably want to have long hair like mother and me, and you would definitely have dark eyes and pale skin. Unless you get father's skin tone, then you would look odd.*

*But what if you're a boy?*

That would actually make things a lot easier. *If you're a boy, then I hope you will be as kind as mother. Father and I would have someone to be stern with and fight with, but I hope you don't turn out like us. I think you might have short hair-kind of spiky-no one in the house has spiky hair. It would be a nice change. You would probably find the most beautiful girl and have little babies running around. I can't imagine father running with grandchildren,* or me an uncle. I guess I can be, but I'm only just becoming a big brother, so one thing at a time!

*I bet you wonder what I look like, right?*

*I have really pale skin. Almost as pale as mother's, but I tan easily. I tried looking like father once, which was surprisingly not that hard, and for some reason, I didn't like it. I usually apply a lot of sunblock before stepping out of the house. I have straight black hair (a lighter shade of black like father's, come to think of it) that is now long enough for me to tie back, but I plan growing it longer (short hair hated me). I also have really dark eyes-sometimes they seem red and other times they seem gray. Most of the time they seem black.* One day, when I activate the Sharingan (a special eye technique of the Uchiha), I can make them completely red if I wanted.

*I look a lot like mother, only I'm tall and have no big chest. My colors and personality are from my father, though. Mother says I need to lighten up, then she hits my hand with a spoon.* She's really the kindest mother ever, but when she's get mad or annoyed, you better watch out. *She also hits father when he doesn't talk enough during dinner. Most of the time, he grunts. She hates that, so look out for the spoon, as well.*

Right now, I'm five and three quarters, and mother says I'll be six and a half when you're born, so that's almost seven years older than you. Wow, compared to you, I already feel grown up!

There was also this weird thing-and don't laugh at me! When I asked during dinner how babies are made, both mother and father choked on their meals and looked at me like I grew horns on my head. *After mother told me to ask father, father told me that mother had to eat a lot of seeds. She hit him with a spoon again (I wonder where she hides that thing), but it got me thinking: if all girls eat seeds, will they have a baby?* Guess I should warn the girls at the Academy to stay away from the sunflower seed snacks.

Either way, it sounds illogical, so I'll go to the library after class and look it up. I'm also the top in the Ninja Academy! Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that we're all ninja, and we live in the Hidden Leaf Village, but the Uchiha have their own compound. It would probably explain why Father, Shisui, and I fight together, huh? It would take me all night to explain everything, so I'm just going to wait until you're born and you can see for yourself. You'll be a ninja too someday!

*If I keep this up, I will be able to graduate when I turn seven,* which is so close, and then I'll be a real ninja! Pretty cool, huh? I might even join ANBU someday with Shisui, just like mother was before I was born. It was mostly father's idea, though. He even says that if I work hard as a genin and become chunin, I could possibly make ANBU when I turn eleven, which would make me the youngest one ever.

*If I do all this and become stronger, then I can become the best big brother out there, so I can take care of you!* That's all I really want now.

Because even though you're just pea-sized right now in mother's stomach and I haven't met you yet...I think I already love you. I just hope you'll love me, too. I would really, really like that.

I have to go now, it's already late and I have school tomorrow. I'm still full from eating all that homemade dango for dessert. It's my favorite. *I wonder what will be your favorite food. I can't wait to find out.*

Love,

Your future big brother Itachi

* * *

 **Hope you liked it!**

 **Please, no flames!**


	3. Baby Brother Sasuke

**(*) footnotes from O.I.N.O.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Dear Baby Brother,

Not offense, but I think you have the worst timing ever.

You're not even two months old yet, and not only has the war gotten worse, but a great sickness has broken out. Not a sickness like stomach flus, colds, or even the average plague. It is a type of plague, more like a disease, but the worst one you can possibly think of. It's bad enough to have a normal war (believe me, I know, because I was there), and now because of a big explosion people say came from the Sound Village that everyone, including our enemies, are in danger?

Don't worry, I'll protect you. I promised you when I first held you.

I remember when you were born. *Despite everything that's happening, I'm so glad you're here in the outside world now. You're so small-I never imagined that you could be this tiny; although you're a lot bigger than my baby toe now. I think you're the size of father's foot. Okay, maybe not that big since father has big feet, but you're still so small.*

I'm pretty sure that I was never this small as a baby, either. I'm already tall for my age, so that means when you're my age now, you'll still be smaller. Don't worry, it's not a bad thing. It would be easier to carry you around that way.

I have been waiting a long time for you to be born. Maybe I was more excited than I cared to admit, because every time I was with mother, I would watch her belly grow bigger and bigger every day. She even let me feel it, and I could feel you kicking and shifting on the inside. It was really weird, but I always felt fuzzy inside, like I was dying to see you and hold you for the first time, all while wondering if you were comfortable, or if mother was comfortable with all your kicking. Mother said that compared to me, you were rambunctious. I asked what rambunctious was, and she said hyper and active, while I had been calm and easy, even after I was born.

Toward the end mother was huge! She would get tired and cranky a lot, usually putting her hands on her back as though in pain and say that you were getting heavy. I get worried, but she tells me that's normal, and that it was the same for me. Father was always at work from morning to night, so after I walk from the Academy with Shisui, I usually stay at home with mother and help her make dinner because it gets harder for her to reach things.

Mother would be hungry all the time, but guess what she always wanted...TOMATOES!

Always tomatoes. Whole tomatoes, grilled tomatoes, pan-friend tomatoes, stuffed tomatoes, sliced and diced tomatoes with rice, tomato soup, tomato sauce, tomato salad, tomatoes in ramen (if those even mix!)...tomatoes, tomatoes, TOMATOES! For breakfast, lunch, dinner, and even dessert! It was no wonder she was getting so fat. I cannot even begin to tell you how sick I am of tomatoes now.

If that ends up being your favorite food when you're older…!

Anyway, after dinner, we would go to her bed and then she would just lie back while I talked to you in her big belly, or even read to you. She's seemed more relaxed that way, and so did you it seemed, so we did this almost every night before going to sleep. It was good practice for when you came out. Mother said with a smile that she thought that you liked the sound of my voice, and that made me happy. It means that you might actually like me.

It was quite literally early the next morning that her water broke, and the sun hadn't risen yet. I got to skip school that day, because father and I had to rush mother to the hospital. I was really scared because mother was in pain and father had this slight worry in his eyes that was enough to make me want to panic. Auntie and uncle came later because we forgot the bag with your baby things.

At the hospital, Father and I took turns sitting with mother to hold her hand while she was in labor, which really hurt my hand, but not as bad as she was hurting I bet. Even now, I can remember her moans and screams. I faced a lot of scary things during the war that still haunted me, but this had been a new type of scary that I couldn't do anything about, and more than once I was worried that mother was going to die, or that you were going to die, because I was helpless to do anything and I wouldn't be a big brother after waiting for so long and it would be all my fault. Father being in the same place as me was a bit comforting.

Three hours later, when it was time you started coming to this world out of mother's belly, I was told to wait outside of the room with auntie and uncle. *I could hear mother shouting and yelling mean things to father like: 'Go to hell' or 'I'm going to castrate you.' I asked auntie what castrate meant and she told me to only worry about you if would be a boy, not a girl.* I told her that I didn't care if you were a girl or a boy, and that I would love you anyway.

It all took seven hours for you to be born! When I first heard you cry, I was allowed back in. Your cries were loud. Mother looked all tired and sweaty, like she had just escaped a great battle, but she looked so happy, like she hadn't been cursing at father ten minutes earlier. *Father says you were a big thing coming out, but you were so tiny that I didn't think you would hurt mother so much.

I finally got to hold you for the very first time. You were so light and fragile. When I did, you stopped crying and just looked at me. And you know what I did...I poked you. On your forehead, right between the eyes, using only my index finger. Your face looked so tiny and cute that I just couldn't resist. My heart had been growing so big with love just seeing you look up at me with those big innocent eyes that it hurt, so I put it at the tips of my fingers and placed it where I decided was my favorite spot to touch you. The look on your face was funny!

I think that will be my way of saying, 'I love you' from now on, because that seemed like the best way to really mean it when feeling it. Way better than just words. It might seem like I'm picking on you because that's what poking usually does, but I'm not. Not really. It will be my little secret for you.

*Do you want to know your name?*

*Mother named you Sasuke. Sasuke Uchiha. It means 'ninja.' She named you after one of the past Hokage's father-oh! The Hokage is the leader of our village.* Right now he's the fourth.

You also have spiky hair, which is odd since it was just a wish I made, and its a bluish-black color. You also have really pale skin and your eyes are really dark. Like I hoped, you already look like mother, even more than I do. I wonder if your eyes will change colors like mine? Your skin is so soft, which is a good thing because mother has soft skin as well...but why are you all wrinkly? You may be cute, but you look like a dried up potato! I asked father if it was because mother ate all those tomatoes, but he said that you were swimming inside mother for the entire 9 months. I already knew that, but still...how are you able to do that?! Was it like being a fish? Was that why you were kicking mother a lot, because you were swimming in circles? I can't hold my breath for longer than a minute, and you can do it for 9 months! That's not fair. You were just born and you already beat me at something.

Oh, well, I can't really be upset. I'm a big brother now! You make me feel really, really happy...and also really, really scared. I'm scared of hurting you or letting you down. I promise that I won't, Sasuke. I promise that I will protect you, no matter what.

Being a big brother now is going to take some getting used to...

*Did you know you're really loud when you cry?

Your room is right next to mine and across from father's and mother's. At night I can hear you screaming at the top of your lungs! You're quiet during the day, so why wait until we all go to bed to scream?! Did you have a bad dream?* I have bad dreams all the time, but you get used to them after a while. *Do you even dream when you're that small? I'm not sure, but I can hear mother when she gets up at night and sings you to sleep. Sometimes I go in after she goes back to bed to make sure you don't wake up again. Do you remember one night, you weren't asleep; you were awake and stared at me the entire night?* I would poke at you and you would grab my finger to suck on it. You have no teeth, so it didn't hurt, but your tiny gums were as gooey as the inside my chest every time you did that. I didn't have class the next day because I was tired later on and father scolded me for that, but it was worth it. You must have a magic power of making me feel really happy without even doing anything.

*I wonder what you think about. Do you wonder about me? Mother? Father? What about the world? You're so tiny that I'm sure you would get lost in it. Don't worry, I'll try to guide you the best way I can.* It's a big world full of many people, many ninja, and so many possibilities. The world can be mean and scary and full of evil people, but it has good things, too. Good people. We can find them together.

*Ah, you're crying again.

What's wrong?

Are you scared?*

Shh, there, there...It's okay, Sasuke. Don't cry. I'm here. Your big brother's here to protect you. I'm not going anywhere.

And I'm scared too. That explosion was pretty loud, wasn't it? I remember everyone hearing it from many miles away. It wiped out the entire Sound Village and part of the Land of Fire, but it looks like didn't stop there. But ever since the explosion in Sound, people from all villages, including our own, are being attacked by ousiders. And that they were sick in some way, because the air in Sound was poisoned with some kind of disease, causing people to go crazy and lethal. That's what the rumors had said, but other than that, I don't know much else. I didn't get the chance to find out.

We're hiding in the basement right now, the one secretly built beneath our backyard garden for emergencies like horrible disasters or something. It's almost similar to our clan's shrine out in the forest, but we call this the basement. Mother and father told me to stay in there and protect you. Right now, I bet they're protecting the house from outsiders again. I wonder if they're okay.

I remember how it all started. I woke up on alert to father shaking me really hard and him handing you to me. He then told me to hide in the basement and to not come out until him or mother comes to get us. I was confused because this was the first time father has ever told me to not fight and go hide. Ever. It must be that bad. Possibly worse than the war I had witnessed only a couple years ago, and that had been a pure, bloody nightmare. But then again, someone needed to look after you and I was the best one for the job. Even father knew that.

*That was 3 weeks ago. I haven't seen them since, or left the basement. I hope they're safe...* I hope Shisui is safe, too. I haven't heard from him yet, so I can't tell if he's fighting out there with his family like mother and father are, or that he's hiding with his little sister. He may be one of the best fighters at his age, but his biggest flaw is that he lets his guard too often. Our clan says it will be his downfall if he's not careful, so it's always up to me, the "stoic" little prodigy, to remind him. But I'm not with him, so I'm really worried. At least you're with me. If you had been out there all alone, I think I would die of worry and go looking for you right away. I just got you as my new baby brother, so I won't lose you to some nasty outsiders.

*I'm glad that we always have spare food in the basement. Food, water, futons, blankets, and even a couple of books. Mother even has sweet milk prepared for you. I think it should last us about four months. You eat a lot, you know that?*

*Anyway, I don't think the war should last long...at least I hope not.* If we're lucky, once this war is over, maybe the other one we were already having before will go with it. I'm so sick of all the fighting and all the killing and all the nightmares I get after.

I just sang you a lullaby. I sang it to you when you were still in mother's belly, remember? I'm glad you've stopped crying. *I know it's hard to sleep with sounds of bombs and ninjutsu above, but we'll be safe. I'll make sure of it.* Sleep well, baby brother, and thanks for being born.

Love,

Your big brother Itachi

* * *

 **Bam! Done! Hope you're liking it so far!**


	4. Life Among the Outsiders

Dear baby brother,

Happy first birthday!

*I'm sad that I don't have much to give you. The war has been going on for over a year now. All of the food has been eaten by us. I bet you don't even remember, do you? Of course not, you're still tiny.* I almost envy you for that, because things have gotten much worse from that point on.

*The outsiders have taken over the country, so food is really hard to get. Mother and father have died on the battle field, so I'll be sure to you about them as much as I can.* I still have nightmares about it after I found them...in pieces. It was the worst sight I had ever seen in my entire life. I remember how loud and terrible my scream sounded to my ears. My sharingan had activated for the first time, making my eyes hurt, but not as much as my throat and heart. All I can say is that they died before they became outsiders. Maybe they killed themselves after they were bitten, or they had been alive when the outsiders surrounded them; there was no way of knowing now. It was awful. If that happened to you, I would die. But it won't. I swear it won't.

I also learned that the Fourth Hokage is dead, so the Third Hokage is now running the village...or what's left of it. There's hardly any sane people left that hasn't died, turned, or left the village yet. I don't even know if ANBU is still around, and we're the only ones left in the Uchiha compound.

If you're wondering how the war started, my best guess is just like everyone else's: the explosion from the Village of Sound. I'm still not too sure about what's going on, but I learned plenty of things for the past year of trying to stay alive.

The thing is, Sasuke...the thousands of people who were caught in the explosion a year ago have come back. Not even a week had passed when they spread out, along with the disease-polluted air. I don't know all the details about the event, like how the explosion happened or who was responsible, but it created the outsiders and they started attacking the village, but the shinobi from all the lands have named the outsiders and that they were infected.

An outsider: seventy-five percent dead, twenty-five percent alive, but one hundred percent insane, sick, rotten, and inhuman to the core. And very much contagious when they bite. Their skin is this sickly yellow, that later forms bumps that starts squirting out weird goo to show that their bodies are rotting. Sometimes their skin peels off and as they eat it, flies fly around because they small like old garbage. They also like to eat people alive like us, and even with their skull smashed, they can still move around. By their description, they are by-all-means man-eating zombies, but smarter. I wonder if they are still in pain if they're sick. An outsider's face always has this tortured look on its face that makes them look scary, so I assume they do. I hope I'm wrong...not that I plan on finding out.

I learned from Shisui that you have to drive a tool into their heart or cut them in half, because that's where the sickness truly functions before reaching the brain. I've done it many times already, and I've learned how to get use to it, but it doesn't make it less disgusting. I hope you will never have to do that.

Oh, right. Shisui is alive and is with us now, but he's not the same anymore. He's sad almost all the time now, even when he tries to hide it. I think you're the only one who can make him be happy sometimes and not fake it. You still have that gift.

Almost a year ago, after a whole month of being trapped in our basement, Shisui found us. Our basement blocks chakra, but luckily he knew about it because otherwise he would have never found us. He had come knocking and yelling, and when I was sure that he wasn't an outsider, I let him in to hide with us. He looked awful. When he had first found our basement, I had to leave you in there for a few minutes to go outside. I had actually tackled Shisui to the ground at knifepoint to check him to see if he was infected, but despite being scratched up and dirty from the fight, he had no bites...but it was the emptiness in his eyes that made me first assume he was infected. It turned out that his little sister had been killed: an outsider bit her when they had been trying to escape and Shisui was forced to end her life when she had just about lost her mind for good.

I can't imagine the pain he's going through. His parents died years before, but he lost his aunt and uncle and now his little sister to the outsiders. I think we're the only reason that he hasn't lost it yet. He looks after us, just like I look after you, but now I have to look after Shisui because he gets lost in a trance a lot. The type of look that almost resembles an outsider. He even has his Mangeko Sharingan activated sometimes (he's says I'll get it too someday when I actually witness a precious person of mine die, so I was wondered why I didn't get it when seeing mother and father's remains). I sometimes get those, too (but not as often as he does), so he helps me back, but we take care of you together because you're a good distraction. Thanks, Sasuke!

We also take turns looking after you, because now we have to hunt for food. Lately the amount of food in the village has been getting lower and lower (markets are no longer running because people are hiding or staying clear of outsiders), so we have to go outside the walls to find berries and animal meat. Shisui offered to be the one to keep hunting for us since he was the oldest, but I wouldn't let him do it by himself (mostly because I'm afraid that he'll just give up and let the outsiders take him), so I convinced him that we take turns to look after you while the other finds food and other supplies. I don't think outsiders like the taste of animals so they leave them alone.

I'm glad you're a silent baby now. It would have been hard to hide you if you had always cried. Remember when we ran out of sweet milk for you? I had to start giving you some of my food so you wouldn't be hungry...but you couldn't eat it unless I chewed it up for you.

When will you grow teeth?

I hope its soon...my jaw is getting tired!

And guess what's your favorite food...tomatoes. Just great!

You cheer and clap your tiny hands every time I bring them, so I guess its not too bad. You even had your first laugh when throwing a chunk at my face, so I kept trying to search them out. It's hard to find fresh fertile fruit, vegetables, and even bread nowadays, so I guess tomatoes are going to be a special treat from now on.

I miss mother's home meals, even her tomato meals. When I see your face, I see her. If you could remember, I'm sure you would miss her and father too. She always made the house feel warm, and even when she hits someone with a spoon, she would laugh after. I miss the smell of father's coffee in the mornings, as well. I'm not sure why he would make a whole pot and only drink one cup, but it made the house smell really bitter. I tried coffee once and I believed it must have been what adults like since it smells good, but it tastes bad. If I can find some in one of the abandoned stores, or trade for some, I'll make it so you can try it. I think all you need is hot water, which is hard to get without smoking up the basement. I actually prefer tea. Jasmine tea. It's hot, soothing, and it keeps me awake. I try to preserve the tea because one day, its going to make the list of endangered food and drink supplies.

I forgot to say that the house is gone. After find out mother and father died, me and Shisui moved all of my bedroom things into the basement, since we planned on staying down there for a while until we figured things out. The basement is basically a small hole going about 4 stories underneath our backyard garden like a bomb shelter. It has a small bathroom, stove that requires fire and wood...which is hard to manage since it can make the basement a little smokey, so we have to open up the door to let out the smoke, and then quickly close it because the smoke attracts outsiders. We had to fight off some of them that had been lingering in the house. Shisui and I still make a great team.

There is also this door that leads into a secret location out into the forest where the Uchiha shrine is, which is good for when I'm hunting for us, but we always have to check that both exits are sealed so that no outsiders, or even mean and desperate people, start invading. Living people can be just as threatening as an outsider. This war has changed all of us. In more ways than one.

I would have once thought that we ninjas would be more than capable of dealing with something like outsiders, because I was sure that ancient history has handled far worse...but there was one catch that became almost as big a problem as the disease was.

Do you remember when I mentioned that the Sound Village's explosion had turned everyone around it into outsiders? Well, I may not know how it happened yet, but I found out why. The air had been poisoned with this toxic waste that had infected everyone within a close range since the explosion had still been burning, but the rest of it had rapidly spreading across the lands of the entire country. Since the edges of the Land of Fire had been close to Sound, some people there were also infected when breathing the toxic fumes, but we were lucky. By the time the toxic air had reached our village before the outsiders did, it had cooled down enough so that we wouldn't be infected right away...however, it was effective enough to start depleting everyone's chakra. Within a week, almost every ninja was weakened to the point that even the most powerful jutsu were nearly impossible to use. Even the sharingan was weakened, so the Uchiha couldn't rely on them anymore. It was hard enough to focus enough chakra to activate it at all, or to copy anyone's fighting moves and use them, or even to sense someone else's chakra signature.

The air since the explosion is still muggy and humid, never going away, but after a while it seems natural...if it weren't for the fact that it was preventing our chakra from performing any ninjutsu, genjutsu, or taijutsu. Whenever Shisui and I actually found the time and place to spar in our old training field in the forest, we would place you into this really high locker in the basement after putting you to sleep, hoping you'll stay quiet while we were gone. You were all curled up like a kitten in your blankets, chubby cheeks pink with content, and hugging that little green dinosaur toy I found for you.

Shisui and I both had to make sure we did it outside so that we worked to exercise our chakra and push our abilities beyond the limit. It was hard, and it still is, but we also made sure to train without the use of any of those techniques.

The shinobi of this war, while surrounded by outsiders and breathing in their air, had to resolve in fighting the old-fashioned way: with their fists, kicks, and weapons only. Still, I miss using jutsus. I even miss my summoning raven. So far I have managed the sharingan, four shadow clones, and a bush-sized fireball jutsu. It's exhausting, but its great progress. Shisui was determined to get me back to the level I once was, so he worked me nearly as hard as father did.

One time when we were coming back from training, you were screaming because you had woken up and found that we were gone. I picked you up and tried to calm you down, putting your head on my shoulder and rubbing your back, humming our lullaby until you quieted with whimpers.

I'm sorry, Sasuke. I'm sorry you got so scared, but Shisui and I always come back. We would never leave you alone for long. Was that why you were scared?

Then Shisui grabbed me and pulled me at the corner of the room with you in my arms. Putting a finger to lips, he pointed toward the roof and we looked up. Now silent, I could then hear the outsiders looking for the door to our basement. I could feel myself shaking and hugging you closer to my chest while Shisui kept his hand on my arm and held his kunai in the other. We were both silent like the ninja we were trained to be. We were scared, but didn't show it, pretending that the infected were merely rogue shinobi searching the place. I miss those good old days. Practically everyone is a rogue now.

The outsiders may be sick, but they are smarter than they look!

When I was out hunting, I found some medicines in one of the old doctor offices and brought it back. The hospital was locked because other survivors have claimed it as their sanctuary first. Shelter can be very valuable, so people don't trust anyone anymore. More so than usual, anyway. I found some that would put you to sleep for almost the whole day. I figured that the next time Shisui and I go out together to train, that I give the medicine so you will stay quiet. I hope you aren't upset with me.

While Shisui and I keep taking turns hunting, it gets harder and harder to find deer meat. I watch Shisui getting thinner, and he actually told me that I was looking like a skeleton, which couldn't be good. I think I'll leave the deer hunting to him and go find rabbit this time; you like rabbit. There are also spicy berries near the border, so I think I'll be gone for the whole day, but don't worry: I trust Shisui to take good care of you and sing and read to you when I can't. I promise to sleep in a tree tonight, and I will make it back in the morning. I'm actually sitting in one right now, way high up from the ground. I can't focus chakra in my feet yet because its not enough, but climbing alone is easy. It's very cold up here, even though its in the middle of summer.

For now, Shisui will look after you and worry about trying to strengthen his sharingan. I'll give you twice the dose of medicine so the outsiders won't find you when we go out training. I haven't told Shisui about this yet, but I will when I get back.

But just in case I don't, because anything can happen out here...I love you, Sasuke, and remember to listen to Shisui. Be careful on saving food and stay away from outsiders, no matter what. Don't trust anyone and take care of yourself. Just stay alive, no matter what. And happy birthday!

Shisui, if you're also reading this and I'm dead, take care of my baby brother and defend him with your life, otherwise I'll come back and haunt you. You're the best friend I ever had.

Despite these farewells, I still promise to come back alive and with fresh rabbit, so don't mind me.

Sleep well, Sasuke. I'll return as quickly as possible.

Love,

Your big brother Itachi


	5. Breakdown

**(*) footnotes from O.I.N.O.**

 **WARNING: Intense swearing up ahead! Young readers beware!**

* * *

Dear Baby Brother,

*Are you okay?

Can you see me properly?* Can you hear me?

Oh, thank gods, you're awake! You really scared me, Sasuke! You were asleep for an entire week and I had no way of waking you except wait it out, which nearly killed me! I couldn't eat or sleep because I was too busy watching you breathe, or making sure I poured water and smashed food down your throat. I was worried that you would never wake up, that I killed you on accident.

Sasuke, I'm so sorry. I felt so guilty that I nearly destroyed the medicine, but only just restrained myself.

*That will be the last time I ever give you that medicine.* Shisui...Ever since I told him that I would give you some medicine to help you sleep, he was the one who looked cautious. He warned me, he told me many times to be careful using remedies without labels, but I never thought that…oh, you're throwing up. The effects must be making you nauseous. I'll hold you. I'll clean up the mess later.

That's it. I wiped your mouth. Just blink a few times and take deep breaths. That's it...you're okay. Thank gods you're okay...I couldn't stop hugging you for a whole hour and you were hugging me back in tears around my torso with your tiny arms, crying, "Big brother."

I gave you too much this time...and it was the wrong medicine! I was careless, but never again.

*From now on, I'll take you hunting with me. I didn't want it to come to this, but I think its about time you learned anyway...or at least watched.* I just want you to be a child a little longer before you start killing animals. Before the disease happened, I always imagined you petting or cuddling with animals at your young age, not killing or skinning them.

Ever since you turned three, Shisui always told me that I should start taking you outside into the world to learn since you have been crammed in that basement, but I always said no. That you were too little and couldn't leave the basement unless for emergencies. I couldn't risk it. I even lost it when I came back from hunting and caught him walking you around outside in our ruined garden near our hideout's entrance. There were no outsiders around, but I scooped you up and rushed you back inside with Shisui at my heels. I was so angry at him that I yelled and argued with him for the rest of the day, while you curled up on our futons with your dinosaur, trying not to cry.

*I know your head is probably throbbing. I could give you something for it, but I don't want to chance you being asleep for another week.*

*Are you hungry?

Your throat must be parched.* I'll get you some water. I'm supporting your head as you hold the cup with both hands, drinking in loud slurps. That's it. Good. Now lie back down. My hand smooths back your hair, and repeats. The motion is comforting. Your eyes still look sleepy, half-lidded and dreamy as you look up at me.

I poke your forehead and lean over to kiss the same spot.

I don't want you to fall asleep yet, so I quietly beg you to stay awake for a little while longer so that I can fix us something to eat. The effects should start wearing off by now...

Again, I'm sorry that I gave you too much medicine. While you were in a mini-coma because of me, I found some medical books when I found my way into the old doctor's office. I couldn't carry them all, so I had to make several trips. The entire time while you were asleep, I studied all of the books I brought back. Turns out, that medicine I gave you by accident wasn't sleep medicine, it was morphine.

I grabbed the wrong bottle and never noticed! I'm such an idiot! I don't think that was allowed for toddlers. It seemed as if it were for adults only. Babies are usually put to sleep with some type of gas...Gods! I really could have killed you! ME, of all people, not the outsiders!

*I'm sorry I'm not the best of big brothers.*

If anything, I'm possibly the worst in all existence. I'm a damn failure! I failed you and I failed Shisui!

We nearly starved once our food supply was out and on top of that I nearly kill you with medicine! These things aren't the things a 10 and 3 year old should worry about...but they are! I should know these things! As a former prodigy of the Uchiha clan, these type of things should be basic! If my damn sharingan wasn't so hard to keep up while breathing in polluted air outside, things would be much easier.

I think we should worry about mother praising us and father scolding us...

I miss them...

I miss Shisui! Gods, I miss him so much!

He's dead because of me! Dead....and it's all my fault! _(starts crying)_

*I want them back! My family, my clan, my best friend...no, my big brother! I want our house back! I want to watch over you in a safe environment without having to worry about things adults do!* WHICH IS ALWAYS! Why couldn't people, even my own father, see that before...before all this happened?! *I'm not an adult, I'm just a child! A child who is a horrible big brother! A child who's seen too many horrible things to last two lifetimes! A child who never actually got a normal life like any other kid! A child who is crying over the fact that that's all I am!*

Just a child!*

*I hate crying over things I should be strong about all the time, but I'm tired of being strong!* Look at me now, the pride of the Uchiha! Laughing bitterly. A fucking child genius falling apart!

That's right! I can swear! It's my journal, so I can swear all I want! I know plenty of swear words now, more than any nine year-old should know! You might never even read my letters to you, since you can barely read yet, so what the hell! Nobody can tell me what to do! Nobody can tell me to suck it up! Nobody can scold me, smack me, or tell me to not show my emotions because it's fucking WEAK! Why?

Because everyone I ever knew except you is fucking dead because of this fucking disease and these two fucking wars in a row!

*I'm just so tired! I feel as if I've failed you.* Failed everyone.

Are these the feelings parents feel when they think they've done something wrong with raising the child? I think they are. These heavy feelings...I'm still a child myself and yet I feel as if I'm burdened with the guilt of raising you. Here we are, the last two Uchiha in hiding, me trying to keep us alive, but for what? There's nothing out there but years of sickness, death, and destruction, so what is the point?

*Why did you have to be born?*

*None of this would have happened if it weren't for you! The war, mother and father, Shisui...we would all still be together!*

*I hate it!*

*I hate the war!*

*I hate mother and father!*

*I hate Shisui!*

*I hate you and your stupid T-rex!

I hope you die somewhere, so all of this can be over!*

Gods, why can't this all be over?!

...

*Stop it! Stop crying! You... _(points madly, sharingan activated)_ you foolish, annoying little brother! Quit it! Quit it, right now! I'm the one that's supposed to cry, not you, so just stop it!* You're always such a crybaby! Always so loud and whiny with the smallest things! You're weak. You're puny.

What, are you scared me? Good! You should be! I nearly killed you, after all, and I might do it again! I can even break you with my bare hands if I wanted! Why wait for the outsiders?

Ha! I am a monster, after all, a killing machine at birth, so you just shut up and stay the hell away from me!

...

What are you...No!

Don't touch me! Don't come near me! Stay back! I want nothing to do with you! So just please...let go of me! Don't. Just...

Please stop...please...let go...please...Sasuke...oh, Sasuke...oh, baby brother...you're crying...you're screaming at me, "Stop it, big brother! Stop!"

I fall to my knees.

...

*Sasuke...I'm sorry. I'm sorry*...Gods, I'm so sorry. Forgive me, baby brother. I love you. I love you so much. Please...don't cry. Please don't be scared of me. Let me wipe your tears away from your soft cheek, and I'll let you wipe mine. Your hands are so small against my cheek...Damn, I'm still crying, but you sit in my lap after I collapsed on the floor when I finally gave in to your embrace. "Don't cry, big brother," you whimper. "I hug you," and then you hug me around the neck.

Sasuke...my precious baby brother...

*I'm a horrible big brother. The worst ever, and I don't deserve you. You need to live, Sasuke. No matter what. I would never hurt you. I would die first. I was angry, I had snapped and gone crazy...can you forgive me? You can hit me, curse me...but instead you are hugging me and wiping my tears with your toddler hands. Those hands that I just kissed, they are so pure.

I hadn't realized my new Mangeko Sharingan had been activated until now, so I blink my eyes from red to black, and the burning pain goes away...but not the one in my heart.

I just cursed you, threatened you, and wished your existence to be gone...why are you so forgiving? Stop crying. Please. I will never say those things again. They're disgusting words. Something I should never have said. In fact, I seriously now hope you that by the time you read this, you will at least be my age now, otherwise I will hate myself for teaching you how to swear this early. And the things I said I could do...I would never do it to you.

Shhhh, Sasuke, it's alright. I promise it will be...and I'll never lose my temper again. I'll protect you, I swear it.

...

Shisui is dead.

I probably mentioned that before during my breakdown a few times, but now that I have calmed down and accepted it, I will tell you what happened here because you deserve to know when you're older. Right now, you're way too young, and it's way too painful.

As we ate our dinner, you asked me what 'dead' is, but I told you not to worry about it. Then you asked me where was Shisui, your voice so soft and innocent. I pulled your little body in my lap and held you close, burying my face in your spiky hair, never wanting to let go. All I could tell you before I tucked you in and placed you to sleep was that Shisui had gone to a better place, and is now at peace.

It happened two weeks ago. I had given you that medicine to put into another long nap while Shisui and I went out on our usual training in the forest. In the meantime, we would bring back some fresh catch for dinner. Our skills have been steadily improving, our chalkra levels exercising with the double the effort than normal, but now it became like second nature.

We were attacked by outsiders. When Shisui and I were briefly separated, a pack of them had just come out of nowhere and started rushing at me. There were around thirty-the packs are always the most dangerous-and I managed to take ten down before one knocked me over. The outsiders had come charging to bite me, come so fast, and I was ready, but there was no way I can block them all at once without getting bitten. I would fight them off, but I had thought that was it for me...just when Shisui suddenly appeared in front of me (managing a short distanced teleportation jutsu), extending his arms to block me...he was bitten heavily by three outsiders before he sliced down five of them at once precisely through the heart, while I ducked under his arm to take down the other two, but was absolutely horrified when seeing the large, bloody bite marks on his left shoulder, his hip, and his arm.

We kept fighting until there was an opening and we were forced to retreat when more outsiders were coming. These outsiders had clearly once been rogue ninja, since they were fast and gathered in organized groups as though their bodies acted accordingly. If they had been alive and uninfected, maybe we would have stuck around to take them all down while earning a few wounds and scratch marks in the process, but that was never an option if you didn't want to become an outsider. If the most powerful ninja should stay clear of a whole pack...and by some miracle we managed to outrun them once we found the entrance to the long tunnel that led to our basement and sealed it tightly shut.

Once we were in safety, I caught Shisui as he stumbled down the steps. Leaning against the wall, I studied his wounds, trying to keep my panic at minimum as I desperately pulled out bandages to start binding them. Shisui took my arm.

"Itachi, stop..."

"No...no...Just let me bind them. We'll figure it out..."

"Itachi...it's no use," Shisui whispered, watching me tiredly. "I'm done for."

"Shisui, no! I won't accept that!"

"Look at me, my friend." I did as he was told, and he smiled weakly. His face was already pale from blood loss. "I can already feel it in my system. It's an itch, for now, but it's going to get much worse by morning. In a couple days, I'll probably lose my mind to illness, and then I'll be turned before the week ends, at most."

"Shisui..."

"I won't endanger you or Sasuke." His eyes became fierce, as he shuddered. "I won't become one of _them_."

"What are you saying?" Shisui pulled out one of his kunai knives, and the idea behind it horrified me. I grabbed his wrist. "Shisui! No, y-you can't!"

"It's the only way. Once bitten by an outsider, there's no stopping it unless I put this through my heart. I watched my sister suffer through the infection until the very end, for two long days, because I could not bring myself to do it, even when she was in pain. I only managed to do it when she was trying bite me. Her face haunted me every day since, Itachi. If it weren't for you and Sasuke, I don't think I would have fought this far...to survive."

"This is all my fault," my voice was shaking. I took his shoulders, crying out, "You got infected because of me. You saved my life but got bit because I wasn't quick enough! I'm so sorry, Shisui!"

Shisui shook his head with a sad smile and put his hand on my shoulder. "Hey, we were both not fast enough. Even if I did get out of it, then you would be in my place, and Sasuke would have lost his big brother. Either way, it's not your fault, Itachi. It was just...really bad luck. Better me than you, right?"

"Don't say that!"

"It's the truth, my friend. You are more than capable of taking care of Sasuke and yourself combined. Hell, you even done alright with me. Remember, when I found you guys? I could barely pull it together if it wasn't for you. You gave me something worth fighting for when I had nothing left. Itachi, you told me this a thousand times, so now it's my turn to tell you: protect Sasuke with your life. Everyone needs a reason to live...Sasuke is yours. Never forget that. You promise?"

"...Yes."

"Good. And Itachi...there's one other thing I have been meaning to give you someday." Shisui sounded uneasy, but met my gaze at firm eye-level. "The Mangeko Sharingan. You know I gained it when I killed my sister, but...you only need to witness a precious person perish before your very eyes in order to gain it. You have the potential of mastering it, even with the disease. It's still hard to activate out there, but it will be a worthy weapon against the outsiders when you're desperate. You already know the secrets of the Mangeko Sharingan, do you?"

"I do."

During one of my hunts, I had read the scroll from the Uchiha shrine. The effects of such power were astonishing...but it was especially difficult for the Mangeko, a powerful eye-jutsu, to be activate while breathing in disease-filled air. Shisui could only easily activate in indoor places, he told me, especially in the basement.

Shisui grunted and clutched his still bleeding bites, and I grabbed hold of him. Even if he bled to death here and now, he would still come back as an outsider.

"Itachi...I want you to be here when I do it. If you see me go, I can give you this as a parting gift. It's the least I can do before I..."

Though my face was stoic, tears escaped my eyes unbidden. This was really happening. Shisui was going to kill himself. He was going to leave us. I can't do this without him. If it wasn't for him...I don't know what would have happened to us.

"Once it's done, dispose of my body immediately," Shisui continued gravely. "I don't care what, or where, don't even bother with a burial...but my body can't be anywhere near here while its full of disease. But before you do...take my eyes. I have a container in my sack, back in the basement...where you can put them for safety. I entrust you with my gekka genkai. Can you do that, 'Tachi?"

"It will be done," I promised. Then I clenched my teeth and threw myself on my best friend, wrapping my arms around his bloody neck. "Shisui...brother...forgive me..." I sobbed.

He wrapped his arm around my neck until his hand gripped my ponytail and pulled his forehead against mine. While I was crying, he looked at peace. "Don't give me that look," he whispered. "There is nothing to forgive. You would have done the same for me. Besides, it would be really good to see my family again."

Shisui...yes, it would.

"Thank you, Itachi, my friend, my brother, for everything."

"What will I tell Sasuke?" I whispered, as he wiped my tears with his thumb.

"The truth...when he's ready. There's no need for the details. The outsiders got me, plain and simple. Use it as a teaching method or something. I'm telling you, that boy's gotta hunt soon." I snorted, and Shisui chuckled, and winked at me. "Don't worry...it'll be fine."

I wished I could believe his words, but somehow in his final hour, he managed to sooth my despair. He always had that affect on me, even when times seemed the darkest.

When it was time we did the deed, all traces of humor and loving farewells had passed. Shisui arranged the kunai in his hand, his hand weakly shaking from blood loss, while I took hold of that clenched hand, wrapping my fingers with his around the knife's handle.

"Together," I whispered in his ear, hardening my resolve and trying not to think about what we were about to do.

Shisui smiled and leaned his head back against my shoulder, his eyes growing sleepy. "Thank you..." he breathed, "Itachi..."

The knife impaled his heart quickly with a thud by both our hands. Shisui jerked, but didn't make a sound. He only leaned his forehead against my neck, while I rested my cheek in his ruffled hair, clenching my teeth as my heart twisted painfully in my chest.

His final exhale was soft and silent against my skin. My hand still gripped his, drenched in blood.

...

The Mangeko Sharingan burned with a vengeance.

One day I will tell you about it.

...

I removed Shisui's eyes as I promised and stored them away for safekeeping. The next day, I remember going out to carry Shisui's wrapped body out into the woods while you were fast asleep. I found a river deep into the woods, far below a high cliff.

That was where I tossed Shisui's body. His name meant 'river,' so it was fitting. I watched as it disappeared from view, forever carried downstream to the unknown.

From that point, everything was a blur. In the midst of my grief, everything just became automatic; hence my mistake of mixing the medicine and placing you in a deep sleep. Then my hateful breakdown. And your forgiveness.

...

I'm so sorry you had to see me like that, Sasuke. I don't even want to imagine how you would react when I'm gone.

Shisui was a great shinobi and an even greater friend. He died saving my life. I had been slow and should have run at the first chance, but that will be the last time I make a mistake like that again. Baby brother, I beg you, stay away from outsider packs.

From now on, I am going to start teaching you how to survive...but I'm going to make sure your innocence stays intact as well. You will be four years old soon, so once the outsiders clear and I go hunting, I'm taking you with me. We'll start with the squirrels.

Don't ever leave me, baby brother. Shisui gone killed me on the inside, even now...but your death would destroy me.

You are going to live, no matter what. And I didn't need to promise Shisui that. I not only promised you, I promised myself.

Love,

Your Big Brother Itachi

P.S. Shisui, if you're watching us now out there somewhere in the afterlife, forgive my weakness. Rest in peace, my friend. Say hello to mother and father for me.


	6. To Go Outside

**Boo-yah, another update! Guess they'll take longer because I'm on my own this time, so no more footnotes, but thank you for the reviews!**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Dear Baby Brother,

You are handling all of this much better than I thought. More than that, you are a fast learner.

We just came back from shuriken practice from our old training grounds, the place where Shisui and I trained before and after the great disease. I always made sure the field was clean of outsiders or any wandering survivor before we would get started. We have been doing this for nearly a year now.

Shuriken practice has never been much of an activity for me before (I've been throwing them since I was three years old during the first war), but for some reason its your favorite thing you like doing with me. You felt that it was something that I can teach you personally and try to turn it into a game, sort of training for a competition against me. You especially love watching me from your chosen hiding spots as I demonstrated in the most advanced ways, flipping high in the air while tossing and swerving multiple shuriken at the dozen targets, including the ones hidden from view.

I have even managed to do it with my sharingan activated. It's getting easier to handle nowadays. You may not know it, but the look of awe on your beaming face always fills me with confidence.

It makes me feel like a real big brother whenever I would help perfect your aim.

We would continue this for over an hour before I announce that we have to head back, and your face would fall in disappointment, thinking that our time training outside was too short. You would try to guilt-trip me in trying to stay for another hour with your wide eyes and pouty pink cheeks, to maybe spare a little time in teaching you a jutsu because I promised I would once we've exercised our chakra levels. "I'm ready!" you would exclaim, holding up your shuriken pleadingly. But I would shake my head and reminded you that we still needed to hunt for food before it got dark out, or that we couldn't stay in one place for too long if we didn't want to get spotted.

I won the argument, per usual, but you're still upset about it. I can tell by your grumpy face tonight, while eating our newly cooked rabbit, that you're tired of waiting. Tired of listening to my reasoning. Tired of being bored and cautious. Tired of giving in not just out of loyalty and obedience, but fear of outsiders.

Sorry, Sasuke, but that's our life now. Maybe next time. When you're a bit older and stronger, maybe?

I'm sleeping next to you tonight, holding you close as always to keep you warm with your little dinosaur squished between us. You curl beside me, but by the upset expression on your face, I grow concerned and ask what's wrong. You avoid my gaze, blushing, and mumble that you're tired of being scared all the time and just want to be like me, already.

Brushing the bangs out of your face, I remind you that these things take time, that we have to let our own experiences sink in before we can become what we want to be.

You are very brave, Sasuke. Braver than you realize. You're already a good hunter, even if it's just as my partner. You're very fast for your age, even without your chakra boost. You still need work on your stealth and your aim, but by now you are improving rapidly. I'm so proud of you.

I shouldn't be that surprised. You are an Uchiha, after all. After all these years, I sometimes forget that.

Please stop trying to grow up.

.

.

.

You're getting bigger now. To me, you're still so little and are still smaller than me when I was your age, but your head is now up to my waist. You lost a little of your baby fat, your arms and legs are slightly lither, and your perspective of things has grown rapidly.

Despite all that we face, whether is be food decline, outsiders, or a cold winter, you still remain a happy child. I try my very best to keep it that way, because there is no way that I'm going to let you become what I am now: emotionless and weary of life...not that I'd ever let you know that. No matter how hopeless life is now, I'm going to do my very best to keep hope alive in you. When you're happy, I'm happy. I still have no clue where you get all that energy in this tragic world, or what I have done to give it to you, but I'm thankful for it.

You do, however, have limits.

Which is why I finally let you come outside with me, because it was obvious that the basement was draining you of your cheerful self, taking the color away from your face, the light in your eyes, and making you absolutely miserable. You were no longer a baby who didn't mind the small space of his surroundings, who didn't mind just pictures for the imagination or stories for knowledge. You wanted more. You no longer just wanted to survive.

You wanted to live.

You just looked so miserable and bored, and begged me every time I was about to go out to take you with me. Every time you did, it was always the same excuse: I would poke you on the forehead with two fingers and say, "Sorry Sasuke...some other time," and then leave quickly so that I wouldn't see your face shatter with disappointment. It didn't stop me from feeling guilty, though.

I had finally let you out of the basement after you turned five years old. I didn't like it one bit, a million terrifying possibilities running through my mind at once, but I figured that after all that time being cooped up in our hideout, it was about time I took you out to explore the world outside and learn how to hunt. I have made you your own bow and arrows for your size, adding in a small sack full of shuriken and three kunai knives for later use.

You lit up instantly, all your gloominess erased instantly like it was never there. You were so happy that you lunged at me with a big smile on your face, giving me a huge hug around the waist, cheering, "Big brother! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" when I gave you your new hunting equipment that I realized how much you wanted this, and felt guilty for holding you back and leaving you behind. That all you wanted was to spend time with me...to go outside.

I'm sorry, Sasuke. I'm sorry that it took so long.

It terrified me to no end (still does) because I knew it was past time you took your first steps into the real world, but was aware of every possibility that something happen to you. I still remember Shisui's death. I vowed that I would never attempt to do anything that would jeopardize our lives again, but the reality is that, even in the life as a shinobi, promises like that are never guaranteed to be kept.

The first time I took you out, it was to explore Konoha. I gave you a piggyback ride the whole time, covering you with a black cloak to hide underneath with our weapons. It was a good thing you were so small and light. I wanted you close to me at all times, I couldn't risk you running off for more than three feet away, even if it meant having you cling to me like a baby monkey.

It was a good thing, too, because there had been a few scary chases with some outsiders. That first day out had been a terrible start. I should have kept track of the time, or had been more aware of my surroundings as I had given you a piggy-back tour around Konoha...when around a sharp corner, there had been a pack charging at us. Larger than the one Shisui and I fought years ago. I remember it as clear as day, especially when you still have nightmares about it.

I had never run so fast with you on my back. One had caught up and grabbed the cloak's hood, revealing your face. You screamed loudly when seeing the outsider's disgusting form reach out to you, but I twirled around at last minute with my sword, kicking it in the stomach while beheading it in haste. You kept screaming and crying at me to run faster after seeing the pack of thirty or forty infected charging at us, and gods, I don't ever remember feeling such terror at getting caught with you helpless on my back.

After a ten minute, I have managed to hide us an abandon apartment building, unstable and too open for shelter, but luckily there had been a spare closet full of rotten, tattered clothing to use for our bedding and disguise our scent. There we would wait all night until the outsiders gave up and cleared the streets (there were even a few outsiders still wandering aimlessly around the interior of the building, eating their own flesh or dragging unfortunate victims like prey in a den of wolves).

One outsider was roaming in the same room with us, near the closed closet. I had shoved you behind me in a tense crouch, covering your mouth with one hand and readying my bloodied sword with the other. I can feel your hot tears and rapidly breathing quickening as the outsider neared us, and I could feel my heart pounding and my teeth gritting, my sharingan activated. Just when the outsider was nearing, dead yellow eyes and rotting teeth bared through the cracks with a gurgling growl, the sounds of more outsiders echoed. Distracted, the one near the closet looked the other way and dash out of the room with a loud screech, joining in with whatever the others were doing.

We were able to breathe again. I lowered my sword and slump against the wall in relief, pulling you into my lap, deactivating my sharingan.

I remember how terrified you were, crying and clinging to me while I tried to calm you down, rubbing your back and whispering words of comfort in your ear.

That had been the first time you had ever seen an outsider in person. Seeing you so frightened broke my heart...but surprisingly, I managed to act calm for your sake. There was no use in panicking. We were safe, for now.

"Shhh, Sasuke, it's okay, calm down," I whispered, holding your shivering self close to my chest under the cloak, while we lay cornered in the closet. "It's okay, baby...don't cry...we're safe now..."

"Itachi," you whimpered, burying your little face in my neck, shaking violently, "I'm so scared. I wanna go home."

"I know...I know, Sasuke…it's alright..."

"Those things...it was gonna...Are we gonna die, Itachi? I don't wanna die."

"No, we're not going to die. It's going to be okay." I kissed the top of your spiky head and pulled the clothing around you further until you were wrapped in a bundle. "I won't let anything happen to you, baby brother. I promise." If it came to it, I would fight them off, use my body as a shield before letting the outsiders get to you, but we were facing a pack of them surrounding the outside of our hiding spot.

Your tiny body relaxed a little against mine, seeming to take my words to heart. "B-Big brother?"

"Hn?"

"W-what are they?"

"Those, little brother, were outsiders."

"Like the monsters...f-from your s-stories?" Your teary eyes grew wider. "Like the ones that got Shisui?"

"That's right, and we have to be really quiet, little brother. If we stay quiet, they won't find us." A possible chance, but I didn't need to tell you that, or that I felt just as terrified you were. Not for me, but for your safety. I held you closer at the thought.

"They're so scary, big brother...and yucky..." You wrinkled your nose in disgust. 'Yucky' was a timid word to describe all those leaking boils, waxing flesh, and rotten teeth.

Amused. "They are, aren't they?"

Proudly. "But you're not scared, big brother. You're not scared of anything, right?"

I poked your forehead. "I don't think I would tell you if I was."

"I wish that I wasn't so scared. I wish that I was as brave and strong as you, and fight an outsider like you. I don't want to be scared of anything!"

"If you weren't scared of anything, that would make you a fool. You wouldn't learn anything if you weren't scared, Sasuke. Even I get scared."

"You do?"

"Yes, a lot."

"Are you scared right now?"

"...yes." So much for not telling you when I'm scared.

"Of the outsiders eating us?" Your voice was small.

"Of the outsiders eating you."

Silence. Then you sniffed and hugged me around the neck, nuzzling. "I'm scared of the outsiders eating you too, big brother. I don't want 'em to get you."

I smiled a little and nuzzled your hair. "They won't."

"They got mama and father."

I stiffened, memories of their torn-up remains flashing in my mind. I shook my head. "Mother and father didn't run when they should. There had been too many, but they were very brave. They protected us. You understand, right, Sasuke?"

"Yeah…can you tell me what were they like, big brother? I like you talking about them."

I bit my lip, feeling my eyes glaze with tears, but I rocked back and forth when I whispered, "You look so much like our mother, little brother. You're like a boy version of her. She was kind, warm, and loving. Every time I see your face, I see her looking back at me, and it makes me feel better...and also sad."

Worried. "My face makes you sad?"

"Because I miss her so much, and I'm sad that you never knew her." I cupped your soft face with both hands, my thumbs tracing your rims of your shiny, dark eyes….mother's eyes. "She loved you so much."

"And father?"

I closed my eyes. "Father was one of the strongest people I knew. He was the leader of our clan. He was almost always so grumpy and cold, very reserved...actually he was a lot like me most of the time….."

"You're not like that, big brother!" you protested softly, but I shook my head and went on with a small smirk.

"….but he was very loyal and dedicated to what he believed in. He reserved some warmth for those most precious to him. I've seen him show it to mother once, when you were born. You really made him happy, Sasuke. He would have been proud of you." My voice may have cracked a little at the end, but luckily you never caught it.

"Hmm." You smiled, eyes started to close sleepily. I smiled and kissed the top of your little head.

"You should go to sleep. We're probably going to be here all night. The outsiders are the most restless at night. Remember?" Over the years, we would hear the growling and howling of the infected outside of our basement when it was night time, especially during a full moon. For some reason, the outsiders are attracted to the moon.

"I'm too scared to sleep, big brother," you whimpered, almost hysterically, and I shushed you, rubbing your back.

"I'll keep watch. I'll watch over you, little one. Just close your eyes and try to count sheep."

"But there aren't sheep, Itachi..."

"Sure there are. You'll see them better when you close your eyes. I'll hum your lullaby, but quietly." I kissed your brow softly. "Would you like that?"

"Mm-hm." Your eyes start to flutter closed as you curled up in my lap, leaning your head at the crook of my arms. "'Tachi...you won't let 'em get us?"

"Never." I vowed. "They won't even find us. We'll be out of here by morning and back in the basement. Safe and sound."

"'Kay...G'night, big brother," you mumbled. "Love you."

My heart throbbed at your sweet words and then I poked your forehead with my two fingers, returning your affections without your knowledge. "Good night, Sasuke," I said, and smirked when seeing your furrow your brow at my poke and mumbled a small complaint.

You're so cute when you pout, you know.

I stayed up all night, guarding us both with you and my sword in my lap, tensing each time I heard a creak or a faint moan from an outsider passing by. By morning, some of the infected had given up and wandered off, so then was my chance to grab you and dash us out of there while you were still asleep. I managed to run us all the way home without much trouble. There was hardly any food at the time, but we didn't care. I managed to make a bowl of the last instant ramen pack to share.

When I tucked you in the safety of your futon, after comforting you from your nightmares, it was then that I decided that you would start using your weapons. If I was going to keep taking you outside with me, I would not have you be left defenseless ever again.

That had been a year ago.

.

.

.

The Hidden Leaf has been in ruin for years, ever since the war started. Outsiders roamed here and there, from around the corners, on rooftops, or inside abandoned buildings. But the village was not devoid of life: even now, like us, there were still living people in hiding, still surviving to keep and protect the villagers, if not the village itself. Whenever I leave you in the basement, I sometimes make trades with people: fresh meat for bread or organic vegetables. Summer is the best time to get your fresh tomatoes.

The disease may be contagious to humans and may drain our chakra levels, but plant-life has started to grow back over time. If our villages and communities weren't in ruins or our people weren't becoming boiled-covered, man-eating outsiders, our world would have otherwise turned back to normal. It is just all a matter of not getting attacked before completion.

I have to keep you hidden from the eyes of other villagers, especially the leaders. People can be resourceful, but when times get desperate, they can still seek a leverage over me to get what they want. Fighters. Hunters. Geniuses. We are the last living Uchiha, little brother...we're everything they would seek to gain in order to survive.

Remember when I said that I would join ANBU someday? I have managed to avoid them for years, or led them astray once or twice, but I know they want me. They know my skills, my capabilities, my sharingan...I just don't trust them. But trust or not, I might one day consider joining them still. ANBU has the best intel, and I hear that BlackOps are provided better for their dedicated service to the village.

Don't worry. I'm not planning on joining them yet. Not until I am sure that you can fend for yourself while I'm gone.

Good night, baby brother! Tomorrow, we'll go train again. I might even be able to start teaching you the fireball jutsu. You're six years old, same age as I was when I learned it…and when this war started.

Yes, Sasuke, I too think you're ready. I think it was me who wasn't. I really wish you can stay a child for much longer, but you can't. Call me sentimental, but it honestly breaks my heart just thinking about it. I guess that is what it truly feels like to be a parent. Or an older sibling.

Love,

Your big brother Itachi

* * *

 **: Yeah, I'm sorry:( First you were excited about Shisui being alive, then I was like "em…this is awkward," and then next thing he was not. I was sad, too.**

anthologylover **: Thank you!:)**

Obviously I'm Not Original **: Thank you so much for reading this and I'm glad you're happy! I hope you're doing well!**


	7. A Flu and a Bargain

Dear Baby Brother,

Are you feeling okay? Let me feel your forehead. Your skin is burning up. You're mumbling something to me about a headache.

I'll get you some water. There isn't much right now, around four quarts, but at least it's cool enough. Which reminds me that I will have to refill our water supply.

Sit up slowly. I'm supporting you, you're moaning...tiny sips, we can't have you throwing up on an empty stomach...there you go, now lie down slowly. Fluffing your pillow and tucking you in. You definitely have a fever and a migraine. It's probably just dehydration. It could be nothing, but I won't take any chances.

Don't worry, you'll be fine. For now, just go back to sleep and get better. I'll go get some more water...and breakfast.

I'll find some more medicine. Maybe if I catch ten rabbits, or a deer, I can trade for aspirin.

It should be enough.

...

You're getting worse. Your breaths are raspy and your pulse is slow. I keep giving you more water, to drink and wipe your skin with a wet towel, but you continue to burn up. You keep coughing, throwing up whatever I give you, and you're saying you feel sore all over.

It's been a week. I'm really worried now.

You definitely have influenza, and it's gotten pretty bad.

It's probably from outside exposure. Living inside a basement for most of your life, almost free of all germs, and then I let you outside to roam with me years later...you were bound to get sick eventually, and you haven't even had a flu shot.

This is all my fault. If I had been brave enough to let you out earlier, even if just for an hour or two, this probably wouldn't have happened! Or maybe it still would. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore! I just need you to get better. You need to get better, Sasuke. You can fight this.

I'm going need more water. Lots of it. And aspirin. We're already out of those pain killers. Not that there was much to begin with. The medics would only give me five tablets from the trade, and they're not even working! But I can't leave you now. I'm holding you in my lap, rocking you and wiping your skin with water. You're soaked. I'm brushing hair from your face and you're heaving up violent coughs.

It's getting hard for you to breathe. Your eyes are glazed.

You're hyperventilating. Sasuke, calm down! Slow breaths, slow breaths! I'm right here.

You're whispering something. What are you saying? I lean over to listen.

You're...you saying mama. You're calling out for mother. My heart just shattered. I wish that mother was here instead of me, Sasuke. I really do, but...

Wait, if you are seeing her now, while having no memory of her...

Oh gods, help me. This is worse than I thought. Stay with me, Sasuke. You can't give up.

You grow limp in my arms. I shout your name and feel your pulse. You passed out. I'm trying not to panic.

We need help now. I know where to get it, but I was hoping that it wouldn't come to it. But I'm desperate now. If we don't find help, or proper medical treatment, you could die.

I gathered my weapons. I'm wrapping you up in blankets and picking you up. We're going out and we need to hurry.

Stay with me, Sasuke.

...

Don't worry, Sasuke. Your big brother is here to look after you. I promise that I will do whatever it takes to get you better.

Carrying you around the village while trying to avoid outsiders was a challenge, dodging around corners to stay hidden until the infected have passed by, taking the trip longer than it should have been. My arms were full of you, wrapped up in blankets. You were shivering as though cold, even though you were burning up. I press my lips to your forehead to keep checking your temperature. Your breathing rasped against my neck, dry and short. I guess I should have brought a canteen of cold water instead of just my weapons. I could only use one hand to draw my weapons while I'm carrying you, but even that would have made my chances of fighting them off more difficult.

It was good thing you were still small, but you're still getting heavier. But either way, I wasn't going to put you down until I reached the medics. I just really hope that they will agree to help you.

Right now we're hiding a public trash bin. Unfortunately I had to close the top block off our scent from outsiders, but now I'm worried that the putrid stink and stuffiness in here will suffocate us both before we reach the hospital. Don't worry, there's a crack in the corner of the lid that is making it easier to breathe, and also providing a little light for me to write. I can still hear the outsiders crawling around the alleys, but if we keep still, they won't bother to look for us in here. We just have to wait them out for now. You being asleep in my lap should make it easier, but I have to keep checking your breathing every couple of minutes. The stench is also making me a little sleepy, too.

How the hell did we, former highborn heirs of our clan, end up in a place for garbage? I guess its just me: my life was never that lucky to begin with. It is even said that my very name is tabooed.

There were places in the entire village where all the surviving villagers have sheltered (besides places like our basement): there was the Hokage monument, the Hokage building, and the Konoha Hospital, the most secure places in the entire village. There was also the Foundation, run by Danzo, but that didn't count since no citizen or ninja besides an ANBU or council member were granted access. I wonder what secrets the Foundation were holding that would keep the rest of the villagers out. Captured outsiders, maybe? It was very likely since the stadium is currently filled with ensnared outsiders, guarded daily by the ANBU black-ops themselves on top of the walls.

I intend to find out one day, and I'll even tell you about it. I'll tell you everything. It will be good for you to know so that in case you get a little too adventurous. Not that I would ever let you walk blindly into danger, foolish little brother.

Oh, I have to go now. I think the outsiders have gone. Just keep breathing, Sasuke. Keep breathing for me. We're almost there.

...

We made it. Finally. But we have to hurry before the outsiders come by. I lay you against the wall before knocking loudly, keeping my hood up. It's always been that way, hiding my face when trading for medicine.

But I don't have trade with me. No kill or material for an exchange, and the people inside the building are suspicious enough as it is.

A man answers me through the peephole, and I pick you back up, all bundled up. I tell them you are very sick, that the aspirin they gave me did not work, and plead for assistance.

The male medic demands for trade, and by the rasp in his voice, it looks like there are trouble going on inside. I tell him that next time I will bring game if they would just help you, but he interrupts me harshly, saying that they're hands are already full at this given time and will not take in strangers.

"Get lost!" he snaps, before shutting the peephole with a click.

Anger and desperate, I lose my calm and started pounding on the heavy metal door with my foot. "Please, my brother is sick!" I yell. "He needs more medicine! He might die! I'll give you anything you want! I double the meat the next time I come!"

The peephole reopens, and an angry dark eye peers back down at me. "Look, kid, we had an agreement on this! You get game, and we give medicine! We don't take in strangers from the world of outsiders, so you should have thought of hiding yourself among the people then in solitude when this godsdamn disease began!"

"No, please! My brother-"

"Kid, if your brother is that sick, then for all I know the air could've gotten to him! He's probably infected! You could be infected, as well!"

As far as I knew, the so-called medic's words were ridiculous. The air may be polluted enough the diminish our chakra, but it was not strong enough to turn anyone into an outsider for merely breathing into it. Only a bite can do that.

"It's a flu, not an infection! You can't make conclusions unless you check on him!" I shouted angrily, not caring that the outsiders will hear me and will probably be coming to find my voice. I could not believe what I was hearing. "Isn't that what medics are for, to examine and heal everyone, even your enemy?!"

"This is a different world, kid! It's not about determining the good and the bad anymore! We have too many injured and sick ninja taking over the corridors from similar purposes that might not survive, and we might even have to put them out of their misery! My advice is that you do the same to your brother. It would be a kindness. Now get out of here before the outsiders come!"

The peephole shut again, along with my hope of convincing them, while I panicked and shouted desperately in vain, "No, wait, come back! Please! I'll do anything!"

The medic didn't come back. I was helpless. If I had all my power back, I would have been able to break down the door, one way or another.

"'Tachi..." you mumble, stirring in my arms and burying your little face into my shoulder. The intense heat radiated from your skin, burning from your dehydration. You hacked up coughs, and I held you closer, trying to keep the despair off my face.

There was only one more place I could go to, one last chance of saving you. To the only person who still had power over the people of the village, even in these desperate times.

The third Hokage.

The outsiders that heard my screaming had come around the corner into the alley, but I had already slipped away before they would find me.

Running down the streets to the Hokage building, I could only hope that the elder still had a straight mind, because finding a sane and decent person was hard to find nowadays. The medic I had just argued with was proof of that.

If not, then I was already working up a plan. In this world, in order to gain something of high value, you had to give something in return. I already knew what the Hokage and the council of elders wanted, and had for quite a long while.

Me. Itachi Uchiha, the clan prodigee and one of its remaining survivors. They wanted my service.

If its me they want, in exchange for convincing the medics to heal you, then I'll do it.

To be honest, I'm dreading it...but what choice do I have?

...

They have agreed to it.

Right now you are being tended in the infirmary, and I'm currently sitting next to you in our futon. They mixed the right herbs to make the right medicine, kept replacing ice on your skin until your fever goes down, and I have to keep giving you sips of water to stay hydrated. You're still coughing, but the medics say that you'll be fine in no more than a week. They're even giving us more medicine before I can take us both back to the basement.

You have no idea how relieved I am to see your health improving, even if it's slow, but you'll be fine.

But our life is going to be more difficult from now on. In exchange for your health, I made a deal with the Hokage, like I mentioned before. I had made it to the building while shaking off outsiders, but was instantly surrounded by ANBU. I surrendered, but refused to let them take you. They took us to Lord Third and the council of elders, which were in the meeting room with other surviving leader of different clans, though there weren't many left.

They were suspicious of us, which was expected, but I could still feel you shivering and coughing in my arms as I fell to my knees and bowed low before Lord Third, begging that they would help you. I begged for your life, and even offered to do anything in exchange for their help. Right then and there, I offered what they would have wanted from me at the start: my service to carry out missions for ANBU and the village, if only they would give you medicine and allow me to take you away into hiding once you were better.

Like the medic from before, most of them suspected they you were bitten by an outsider. Lord Danzo even suggested to the Hokage that you should be put out of your misery and have Root members take me into custody. It took everything I had not to snarl at him like some crazed animal, because that would have definitely sealed our fate. Whatever happened, if they didn't agree to my offer, I wouldn't have let them touch you, but being surrounded by more ninjas much older than both of us combined had lessened any chance of escaping unscathed.

Fortunately, Lord Hokage seemed to look at you with gentle pity and dismissed Danzo's statements, instead suggesting that they first check you for any outsider bites before continuing any negotiations. If you had been bitten, then they would follow along with Danzo's plan...but if not, they'll agree to listen with what I have to say.

Letting them search you was sickening, but I was thankful that we did it in the interrogation room. They summoned a female medic named Shizune, who had once been a follower of the famous Lady Tsunade, a legendary sannin and best medic in the world. She had been gentle with you, feeling for any bite marks while I was the one who unclothed you. The Hokage and Danzo had to be there as witnesses. Once it was proven that you weren't bitten, there was this sense of relief in the air and the Hokage ordered Shizune to take you into a separate room where she can examine you, but I had been forced to remain with the Hokage and Danzo during that time to discuss the matters of our bargain.

I guess to put it shortly, I am now part of ANBU units, and in payment for my services, the Hokage agreed to provide needed supplies like food and medicine. Danzo protested at this, saying that you and I should remain under close surveillance within the organization, that we couldn't be trusted. Even Lord Third asked me for a reason to be trusted, and I swore on the honor of the Uchiha that he can trust me. Lord Third seemed to accept this, maybe a little relucatantly, while Danzo didn't seem the least convinced. It seemed like they didn't really value the word of an Uchiha lately, though I didn't really see a reason why.

Either way, the deal was made and all we can do now is see how long it will hold. Break it, and we'll be hunted down for treason against the village. Whatever happens, I can't screw this up.

I have been given my gear, my mask, and my weapons. And when you get better, the Hokage has agreed with my plea to let me take you "back to where we came from," because I didn't trust anyone else around you. I especially don't trust that Danzo wouldn't strike at the first opportunity to hold you for ransom in order to control me, no matter what the Hokage orders, and I would do it without hesitation.

I'll be starting as an ANBU agent as soon as I'm able, when you're better and safe in the security of the basement, where no one can reach you. I'll be going on missions from now on, so you won't be seeing me as much, but I will never leave you, Sasuke. If the deal stands, they'll keep giving me supplies in exchange for value of my service, so I better make it worthwhile. I plan to tell you this once your flu goes away, and I'm already dreading your reaction.

I'm still not sure if I have made the right decision, but I don't regret going through with it if it would help you. You can take care of yourself, Sasuke. I know you can. I'm so terrified of this new arrangement, that when I'm away, something terrible would happen to you. Or that something would happen to me and that would leave you alone to suffer in this miserable world.

I guess I'm going to have to put my faith in your abilities to survive. I hope my lessons taught you enough. But for now, get better and we'll see where this leads us.

I really hope you'll forgive me for this, little brother.

Love,

Your big brother Itachi

* * *

 **Sorry for the wait, but college barely gives me time to think outside the work zone.**

 **Hope you liked this!**


	8. Rumors

**Hello, everyone! Sorry for the delay, but thou shall continue:)**

* * *

Dear Baby Brother,

It feels like forever since I have last left you by yourself in the basement, like its been years instead of two weeks.

I have just returned from a week-long infiltration mission and am currently at bed-rest in the hospital lobby, surrounded by sleeping patients in futons. It's always been like half of the Hidden Leaf had been stuffed in this large building from every room to every space of the floor. It makes anyone miss living in their own home, walking their own road, or sleeping in their own room. As far as I know, our basement is considered one of the places for such luxury. One that others can't know about except for us.

It has been a year since I have joined ANBU. One year since I had nearly lost you to influenza. I have had my hands completely full almost every day, whenever I am needed as a member of the ANBU squad to cut down outsiders, deserters, or wanderers.

Hands full of weapons, full of supplies...full of blood. Blood and guts. Even after a whole year working as an operative, having to face the horrors of this diseased world for nearly every day and return home from having stared death in the face for more times than I can count, I'm still not used to being without the basement.

The missions are dangerous, even more so without our full ability to control our chakra, therefore unable to perform any jutsu. There had been quite a few times when I have managed to use my Sharingan to empower my movements against the outsiders, or any other living intruders, but such a power has to be my last resort. Such saving a squad member from the poisonous jaws of an outsider, I have spent a great amount of my reserves activating my Mangeko Sharingan to perform this certain jutsu called Amaterasu.

This comes from the power of the Mangeko, in the form of black flames that will burn and incinerate anything until it is reduced to nothing. Using only one shot of its power was enough for my eyes to feel like they too were burning with the black flames….

And then nothing.

I later wake up after a whole day, sometimes longer, inside the village, surrounded by patients and medics. It was always a different building, but most of the time it was the hospital, which was closer to the village gate. Sometimes I hear that a fellow ANBU member has been caught by the outsiders, such as the most recent, a man named Hitate. I didn't know him that well, but I know he had a lover among our squad who was a cool-minded and fierce kunoichi.

There was one ANBU member that I got to know well enough over the past year we have worked together. Well enough to consider him as a friend and mentor to me, ever since Shisui….though maybe not as trustworthy. Not yet.

His name is Kakashi Hatake. He is a tall with a set of wild silver hair, a clothed mask that covers the lower half of his face 24/7 (no, baby brother, I don't joke about these things), and his left eye carried the Sharingan.

Shocked? I know that's how I felt when I first saw him use it during one of our earliest missions together.

I even imagined at the time that he had stolen the Sharingan from one of our dead kin when the outsiders first invaded the village, killing all of the Uchiha in the process. I was wrong.

He later revealed to me that it was gift from a friend on his genin team many years ago, before the disease took over the world. His friend's name was Obito Uchiha, who had died when he was around my age while saving his teammates life. In the process, he had given his Sharingan to Kakashi. Then he had made Kakashi promise that he would protect their other teammate, Rin Nohara.

"He had loved her," Kakashi had told me, as we sat together on separate tree branches to keep watch, our backs to the trunk on opposite sides. "It was so obvious that it was embarrassing….it was a wonder how Rin didn't see it. She was too busy crushing on me, and I knew it." His tone carried a bitter smirk. "The tragic thing was that she didn't realize it until after his death, after _I_ told her. Sometimes I still think I made a mistake doing that…." He sounded pained.

"What happened to her?" I asked, frowning into the darkness. "Rin."

Kakashi had been silent for a long while. "She was killed," he said at last. His voice sounded strange, almost empty. "During a mission with me, not long before the infected took over. I failed to do the one thing Obito asked of me….to protect the person he loved more than anyone else." His head leaned against the trunk, sighing heavily. "I failed….to protect the only family I had left."

I wanted to ask him how Rin died, but that would have been cruel while burdened with tormented memories. I knew all too well what that was like. I had experienced it with my parents. I had experienced it with Shisui. I couldn't bear it if I had to experience it with you, little brother.

That was the first time I had bonded with Kakashi, my partner in ANBU. I have mentioned him to you before, little brother, but I never went into detail about him. I still don't trust him enough to introduce the two of you, considering the possibility that Kakashi could be working for Danzo (I have managed to root out a few loyal member of the Foundation among us), but a part of me hopes that he is the good man I see him as. I can tell that the feeling is mutual for him.

I miss you, little brother. I really can't wait to go back and see you, but I have a very persistent healer who wants me healthy before I report to the leaders of the village and collect my ransom (food and medicine, as usual).

….

My eyes are still sore from the mission, but Izumi healed it the best way that she can. Her hands were always so soft and gentle, warm to the touch. She really is a miracle worker.

Izumi is a friend of mine. She had actually been there with Shizune when you had caught the flu a year ago, acting as an assistant for bringing cold water and towels. At the time, I had never really paid attention to her, or bothered to know who she was. I think I was too busy worrying about you to know she even existed.

Well, that is certainly not the case now.

During the first month when performing missions for ANBU, every member had to go through a check-up to make sure we didn't receive any bites or injuries. I was never really injured, but like the rest of them, I was easily chakra-drained, thanks to the polluted air. I had a few female medical-nin who had tried to flirt with me, trying to use that "could be the end of the world" crap that I now know was a tactic for seduction.

No, nothing happened, if you're wondering.

She was never like that. To me, the first time I had noticed her, she had actually been the quiet, mysterious one who looked shy and conservative, like she was trying not to draw too much attention to herself. Funny enough that it caught my attention, for some reason. I found her very attractive with her long brown hair and matching doe brown eyes. She also had this little beauty mark underneath her eye that brought out the sharpness of her cheekbones.

After a few more times she had checked up on me, I finally asked her name and gave her mine in return, even though she already knew who I was.

I later learned and fully know by now that she was not the silent type after all. The more times we met up, the more she revealed her more talkative nature, and once she talked, she rambled. She talked about a lot of things, mostly unimportant, but at least she was smart enough to know better than put all her trust in me, just like I couldn't put all my trust in her.

It's really a shame, because I honestly have grown to care for her, far more than I expected. It scares me sometimes, I'll admit, but only to you.

There are still some things I don't know about her, except that she was genuinely a kind girl who was a terrible liar (she was flustered when I learned that on my own), that she was the same age as me, what her birthday was, and that when she was a little girl, she loved to dance. Her mother died during the outsider attack. Her father was alive, but had an amputated leg from getting bitten by an outsider in the attempts to protect his then-six year old daughter before they were rescued by none other than Kakashi Hatake.

The coincidence really surprised me, and made me a little suspicious when Izumi had introduced me to her father, who had clearly been a former jounin back in the days. I quickly came to admire the man for his sacrifice to protect Izumi, just as I began to realize that Izumi had been struggling to take care of her father ever since, as his medic and as his daughter. She too had a precious family member she was dedicated in protecting, just like I was dedicated in protecting you, Sasuke.

But even then I still felt like there is more to Izumi than I knew, and I still really wanted to know. It shouldn't frustrate me so much, because I'm supposed to stay distant and keep other people at arms-length….but it does.

I mean, she patches me up, checks me over ( _really_ does), shares her food with me, sneaks me a few medicines, chats with me, and even makes up jokes for me, because I can't make up a joke to save my life.

*Sighs heavily* I know. I'm being irrational.

Maybe it's the part of me that still didn't trust her and wanted to find a reason to. In a way, whenever I'm around her, she reminds me of our mother. Reminds me of you. That had to be it.

Without meaning to, she sometimes asks me about you, but always apologizes continuously when I refused to say anything, in fear of revealing your location. But then I'm always determined to learn more about her that she is hesitant in giving away.

That probably makes me a hypocrite, doesn't it? Either way, I think she's hiding something important, and I'm still determined to root it out of her.

Maybe she has a secret boyfriend?

*Cringes* Sorry, that question has been on my mind for a while and had to write it down. Ignore it.

Anyway, she did trust me enough to share the rumors that have passed around her patients, which was more information than I could have picked from the over-secretive ANBU.

I learned that she was training under Shizune, who in turn had been under the wing of Lady Tsunade, one of the Legendary Sannin. She told me Tsunade had left the village only a few years ago with a little pink-haired girl, who had been orphaned by the outsiders, to go search for a cure. Shizune had been ordered to stay behind to lead the medical unit and continue training Izumi as her apprentice, while Tsunade had resorted to continue training the little pink-haired girl named Sakura Haruno she had adopted as her daughter.

Word had spread that Tsunade Senju had reunited with Master Jiraiya out in the wilderness, who was on a similar mission but was tasked with a different responsibility. It was also known that he had the village's jinchurkii with him as his ward. During the time of the village's attack by outsiders, the Fourth Hokage had killed under mysterious circumstances while his pregnant wife had been vulnerable to the attacks.

I did not know the whole story, but all I knew was that Jiraiya had been Kushina Uzamaki's protector at the time of the attack and had brought her to safety before jumping into battle.

Two months later, the Fourth's wife gave to a boy while Jiraiya was there to keep the Nine-Tails seal on. And then later it was said that she died. There had been no further explanation to the cause of her death. Many believed it was from the strain of childbirth, but I personally found that hard to believe. There were too few witnesses.

All the people knew was that the new jinchurkii host was Minato and Kushina's son, who was currently under the guardianship of Master Jiraiya out there somewhere.

Many believe he was actually out in hiding from the Hidden Leaf, only contacting through Lady Tsunade without revealing his whereabouts. I believe it. I'm trying to keep you hidden not only for your safety, but because you are an Uchiha and therefore a useful tool the village will not hesitate in using, like they are with me. A jinchurikii would be equally as useful to the village as a tool, so putting myself in the Toad Sage's place, if his reasons were paternal, I understand him quite well.

As Master Jiraiya was supposed to be an expert in infiltration and information gathering, it was through him that we have discovered the source of the worldwide infection detonating from the Sound Village.

It had turned out to be a former Foundation ANBU member of our village, Orochimaru, the third Sannin. I may have seen him once before in my life, before you were born. He was a tall pale man with long black hair, white skin, and yellow reptilian eyes. He was was literally the human incarnation of a snake.

Apparently he had been secretly coercing with the Village of Sound and used the hideouts of that region to perform illegal experiments on helpless, or very willing, prisoners. Whatever he had been putting together, the experiment had obviously gone very wrong and the formula resulted in the explosion that brought the worldwide infection and the birth of the outsiders.

That was as much evidence as we could gather, the truth being further revealed in a few of our missions in what was left of the Sound Village, since there were no living witnesses of Orochimaru's disastrous display. Neither was Orcohimaru himself anywhere to be found, so we assume that the mad scientist has been incinerated in the blast.

In my opinion, that snake should count himself lucky. Most would rather die quickly than live in suffering as an outsider.

I wonder how you are doing without me. Are you in the basement? Have you gone out and caught anything? Are you being safe? I know it has been weeks, but when I leave with my paid supplies and I find that you are not in the basement after dark, I will track you down and drag you back there to give you a good, long lecture, which I have no doubt you will fight.

Even though you're nine years old, ever since I joined ANBU, you have developed a mean streak. One that reminded me very much of our father. I should be used to it now, since I know that a part of you is still mad at me for the deal I made….but remember that I am doing all of this for your sake, Sasuke.

I am keeping myself alive for you, and you will pay me back by doing the same. Life without you is just not possible.

Lights are going out now, so I have to wrap up, but Izumi says she will have me ready for travel as soon as I got some sleep. We just said good night. I usually sleep around twenty feet down the hall from her and her father, in a view where I can see them. I watch her get wrapped up in the arms of her father as they fall asleep and I feel a mixture of warmth and envy. Warmth because of the close bond they share and how peaceful Izumi looks when she sleeps….but mostly envy because her relationship with her father was something I never had with mine.

Also, it's because I miss having you in my arms. Luckily it won't be for long.

I just want to say how proud I am of you, little brother. So very proud. Even though, in the beginning, I didn't want to have to force you to fend yourself during the times I am gone, you have surprised me with your capabilities.

You are not helpless. You are an Uchiha, my flesh and blood. Mom and Dad would be so proud of you. Shisui would be, too.

I'll see you in the morning, alright? And again, you better be in the basement! Just want to make that clear.

Love,

Your big brother Itachi

* * *

 **Introducing Kakashi and Izumi:) Hope you liked it! Again, sorry for the wait!**

 **Please review!**


	9. Sasuke and the Boar

**Hi y'all! It's been a while, but this story is still happening, no matter the delay. Real life is a busy business, especially when you have a job now. Hope you will enjoy this filler!**

* * *

Dear Baby Brother,

It has been six months since I wrote my last entry to you. We are now eating more rabbits in the hideout that you had caught for us in the wild. While eating a hare leg, you keep telling me that you're getting tired of eating rabbits and wish to boost your strength and potential to catch something larger.

After giving you a curious glance, I ask you what that might be.

Smiling, you tell me you wish to catch a large wild boar, spreading your arms out in indication. You had seen one in the wild a few times passing by the village while out hunting. You even mentioned that you spotted other hunters take them down with a few arrows in the softer areas.

After hearing this, I became worried and demanded that if anyone saw you, but you became defensive and said you only remained observant from the branches of trees so that nobody would see you. You have gotten very good at climbing trees nowadays. I remember when you fell and sprained your ankle when I took you out, so I had to give you a piggyback ride on the way home.

Through these experiences, you now knew where the vital points of the beast were.

We would be able to preserve meat for months.

Not a bad idea...except that, for one, the wild boars in our land were the size of houses, so not only would the kill be impossible to move with just one or both of us, one boar alone wouldn't fit through the entrance of the basement, or the basement itself. And two, the meat would be difficult to cut into, so there wouldn't be much time to cut the prey to pieces in the hunting spot before some other outsider or hungry intruder came along to claim the prize. And three, it was not that easy to kill a wild boar, especially with just one small child whose largest prey had once been a small wild deer.

When I pointed these facts out, you only pouted and mumbled that I told him of when Shisui and I had brought down a wild boar once during our training together. That was true, but that had been by chance. Shisui and I had killed the wild boar when it had been charging at us, but we had to retreat when outsiders were spotted nearby. The next day, when it was my turn to hunt and Shisui's turn to babysit you, I had the same idea as you did and relocated the huge wild boar in same spot where it was killed. I had only managed to cut off one of its legs before I had to retreat, and that's how I knew from experience how tough the meat was. It had later turned out the rest of the wild boar was collected by Konoha's assigned hunters and was brought back as an addition to their supplied meat, so I couldn't use the boar meat for trade at the time.

When we were finished with dinner, I promised you that when we had the time, I would take you boar hunting. You were already an expert with a bow and arrow and my missions have been improving my strength and stealth in the face of danger. Maybe we would get lucky. You smiled and nodded when I made this promise.

If you were going to hunt a boar, I would much rather prefer being there to back you up if there was any trouble. You're strong, but so small that one boar can cut you in half with its tusk.

In between the time I have to spend with you and having to perform missions, so much has happened. People have died. People have lived. You're nine years-old and already an extraordinary hunter, and while I am proud of you, Sasuke, I worry.

For all your life you have only had me as your companion, your only connection and social interaction to human life. Besides Shisui and the one time you had gotten very sick, I worry that a lifetime of being just the two of us would forever embed your inexperience with interacting with other people. I know it has guaranteed your distrust in others...but I fear that you have become more distrustful of other living things than I have ever been because of me. I feel responsible.

If only you could make friends. If only our family were alive and you got to know them. If only I would be able to introduce to my partner and mentor, Kakashi. Or to my friend and now lover, Izumi, who was already tempted to spoil you, even if she's only helped treat you that one time. If it were safe, I would really want you to meet them. There is so much of life that you should be living, so many people you should meet and learn from, not hoarded away in this basement for means of survival.

I want to protect you forever. Even if you were old enough and strong enough to protect yourself, I don't know if I would have the strength to let you. Because no matter how tall and mature you will get, you'll always be my baby brother, Sasuke, and we have to stick together no matter what.

I have to leave early tomorrow. ANBU has another mission that requires my assistance. I know you're upset and getting impatient with me, Sasuke, but just don't forget I'm doing this for your sake. I trust you to be smart and take care of yourself while I'm gone.

You snuggle next to me in my futon tonight and your warm little body comforts me as I write. Just like this, every day and night, and every second I fight for our survival from the world outside the basement, makes all tears and blood I shed worth it.

I will be back, little brother. And as usual, if anything happens to me, stay in the basement.

Or if you don't, find Kakashi Hatake. He will take you to Izumi. If anything happens to me, you will stay with her and her father. I know that's not how I would like you to meet my girlfriend, and even though I'm not asking you to let down your guard (you shouldn't), I really hope you will trust her enough to let her take care of you. I know I do.

She's become very important to me, little brother. I think more than she should be at this point, but it's true. So please go to her, if anything happens to me.

But it won't come to that. I will see you in a few days and come back with some information about those rumors I told you about. Stay away from the wild boars from now on.

Love,

Your big brother Itachi

* * *

 **This is not the end. Not even close. I know it's slow, but by the next chapter the story's plot will be picking up the pace and getting back on track. I just love Itachi and Sasuke's brotherly love, don't you? Thanks for all your reviews:) Until next time!**


End file.
